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Kim Kardashian broke down on the Dec. 18 episode of The Kardashians as she "hit a wall" with her bar test prep just nine days before taking the July exam
In November, she revealed she did not pass the bar, but said she was "still all in" on her journey to become a lawyer
New episodes of The Kardashians premiere Thursdays on Hulu
Kim Kardashianfaced more setbacks than she could've anticipated in the days leading up to the bar exam.
The reality TV star, 45, had been prepping for six years to officially become a lawyer when she took the exam in July, thoughshe revealed to fans in November that she did not passthe test.
On the Dec. 18 episode ofThe Kardashians, Kim was just nine days away from taking the test and the stress was hitting her.
"I'm absolutely gonna cry, cause it's f------ exhausting," she told the cameras, admitting she'd "hit a wall" with her prep.
"I threw my back out, and it's like, every time I think I get to another step, something pulls me back," she said. "There's all these f------ roadblocks, and I'm not a pity party kind of girl, but last night, I was like, why the f--- is this happening?"
Her back injury left her physically limited, which didn't help her mental state. "I can hardly walk, I can hardly f ------ sit. I don't know why I have all these back problems."
She was "shocked" by how worn out she felt, despite having been warned that "everyone, before they take the bar, has a mental breakdown."
"I just knew that wasn't me, 'cause I'm not that person, but I get it. It's really a lot. Now I really, really get it."
"I had no clue it was gonna be this emotional," she continued. "I don't know how I can get any more information into my brain."
A producer then told her that they'd never seen her want something this much, to which she revealed what she would do should she fail the exam (which she ultimately did).
"I really want it, and if I don't pass, I don't think I would take it again. I wouldn't have the time for a few years, and then I'm older and then my brain capacity is different."
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Despite claiming she wouldn't retake the test, the SKIMS founder was clear that she was not "giving up" when she shared that she'd failed the July exam.
"Well...I'm not a lawyer yet, I just play a very well-dressed one on TV," she wrote in an Instagram post, sharing the news. "Six years into this law journey, and I'm still all in until I pass the bar."
"Thank you to everyone who has supported and encouraged me along the way so far. Failing short isn't failure — it's fuel. I was so close to passing the exam and that only motivated me even more. Let's go!"
In a later post, she doubled down on her continued passion for a career in law as she shared footage of her exam prep with her fans and promised, "This dream means too much to me to walk away from."
"I've shared so much of this journey with you, and this summer I documented some of the final two weeks of studying — the ups, the downs, and everything in between," she wrote.
"On November 7th, I found out I didn't pass the bar. It was disappointing, but it wasn't the end," she continued. "I'm going to keep studying, keep learning, and keep showing up for myself until I get there."
New episodes ofThe Kardashianspremiere Thursdays on Hulu.
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